some thoughts on today

so, today, i helped Giovanni kill an agnello, or baby lamb. i dont really know how i am supposed to feel about this, but honestly, all i feel is grateful. grateful that an animal gave up its life for us and just grateful in general. so giovanni picked a male lamb, tied its legs and carried it to a room in the casaficcio where they slaughter the animals. i was too scared to look it in the eyes so i pet it and stood behind the table where i could only see its back and behind, not the face. Giovanni made two cuts in the jugular and it began to bleed and the blood went into a bucket. it only needed to bleed for around a minute before it started gagging and jerking around. it gasped for another minute or so, and then the breathing slowed and eventually stopped. the whole process took around 3 minutes, very fast and very painless. sarah said we took the cowards view by not looking it in the eyes, and i regret not  looking at it from the front, because if you are okay with eating meat, you should be okay with killing it and i was too nervous to look it in the eyes while it died, so instead i listened to it die. after it died, i went around to look at it and i thanked it.

the minute it stopped breathing, giovanni made a small hole in the leg, inserted a small hose and pumped the agnello with air, stretching it like a balloon to get the skin to detach from the muscle. he slit down the stomach and around the groin and began to pull the skin off. he cut off the feet and then attached giant hooks into the arms and hung it from a chain on the ceiling. i helped to peel the skin off and take out the insides, and i held its heart. it was still pulsing, not beating, but it was warm and moving and just holding its lungs and heart and stomach and liver was so…i dont know how to describe it. it was very real and very connected. i got warm blood on my hands, i felt the still moving organs, and i heard the sound of dying.

the meat we eat is so de-animalized. all you see is a hunk of steak or a piece of chicken or just something. you dont know what your eating and you are so very disconnected from where your food comes from, from the animal that sacrificed its life for you. are you thankful? are you knowledgeable? are you anything? for us, that meat is just another meal, just another piece of food.

for example, they had rabbit for dinner tonight, which no, i did not eat, and i saw the whole rabbits sitting skinned in the kitchen. the meat we eat actually comes from a real animal, from something that was alive a short while ago, an animal who gave itself up for us. i just feel so appreciative right now, so grateful.

doing this today really meant a lot to me, and as most of you know, ive had a weird past with meat, being a vegetarian for 6.5 years and a vegan for 2 years. i just recently, like literally 3 weeks before i left for italy began to eat meat again. im only doing farm raised organic, which is everything here. im really glad i got to take part in this because its helping me understand, well, a lot.  i apologize to all you readers, which hopefully there are some! but i just cant describe this.

well, tomorrow, when we have 30 PEOPLE for dinner, i dont think anyone will appreciate our meal of agnello as much as sarah, giovanni, and i.

i may or may not have stepped on most of the onion plants while watering the garden…

so sorry about not blogging the last week, ive either been super busy or super un motivated. but due to my mother complaining about me not blogging, here you go.

also, im motivated.

so lets go through my week

last friday: i dont really remember anything else other than waking up at 430 am to milk the sheep and work around the barn and then i made stuffed peppers for lunch and passed out in a 6 hour nap until dinner (which was more sleep than i got the night before!)

saturday: i dont quite remember what happened in the morning, but i know that sarah melanie and i went to dinner. earlier that day sarah, mauritzio, tamara and i went to a small farmers market in belleforte, about 3 km away from the farm. sarah and i dressed up and we ended up walking home bc it was only like 10 or so stands so it wasnt very exciting. we got home around 930 and right away melanie sarah and i walked to radicondoli, a whole 5 k, not far, but all uphill and in nice clothes and windy streets. it was nice though, we talked about everything from the amish to abortion to a.d.d. to really everything. we had dinner around 1015 and stayed until 1230. i had salami on this puffy baked bread, cecchi beans with salvia and a pizza with sausage and other delicious things. giovanni picked us up and drove us home.

sunday: i went to san gimignano with melanie and tamara. its so beautiful and its my moms favorite place so i really wanted to go. also, they have gelato thats won the best gelato in the world for 3 years. i had passion fruit and pear. we also brought home and kg for the fam, including blackberry with lavender, melone, cafe, pistacchio, crema, e albicocca. YUM. melanie and i walked around and went to a torture museum, and to say the least, chastity belts are terrifying. we got giovanna a present and went home. i guess we didint really do anything else that day.

monday: i was very unhappy because the whole day i stayed in and pitted fruit and cleaned. the last week ive really just been inside doing housework and cleaning, which makes me really unhappy and i start stress eating bc im really anxious so i ate a ton for the last week. i had a nice skype chat with my mom and she and giovanni chatted. he mentioned that some wood needed to be moved, so i volunteered and pretty much moved a huge pile of wood for an hour and a half, but it made me really happy bc i was out and active and doing something that i felt was productive. we have guests here who have rented an apartment for a year, and we were chatting and they own a horse farm near here and invited me to come and work for them for the day (yay!)

tuesday: got up at 730 and drove to the farm with them at 8. right away we cleaned out the horse stalls for a good hour and a half, which is good bc i was near the horses and i like the smell of horse poop, dont judge. after that, i helped the son (who is quite the fellow i must say) build an electric fence, and he showed me how to use power tools. so i am now about to use a drill! after that he gave me a tour of their HUGE farm via motorcycle, which was quite thrilling if i say so myself. they have 30 pigs (incluidng babies!) which turn into salami every year. then the dad gave me a tour and on their property are 3 abaondoned buildings, including a church with a family buried in it and a school room. everything was very beautiful and im kind of mad that i didnt take pictures! they turned the other building into a tack room for their horses and a kitchen.

so after the tour, they decided it was too hot to work so we headed over to one of the horse trainers houses so they could get bathinsuits. of course i didnt have one so i went in my sport bra and i borrowed the sons shorts. we drove to a natural pool in pisa and hung out and swam for 2 hours. after, we returend back to their farm for lunch, which consisted of a southern italian dish from napoli made with vermicelli spaghetti, giant capers, garlic and tuna. after lunch the son and i worked more on the fence until 530 and then the dad took us to radicondoli for a beer and then we went back to my farm. we had DELICIOUS x 10 chicken for dinner and tiramisu for dinner. i also finally took a shower, which was very much needed after 4 days of being gross. im getting small dreads bc i havnt brushed my hair since i got here, but i did (if you can keep a secret) borrow a little of sarahs facial exfoliator and fancy shampoo. that is the cleanest ive EVER been. like i took a whole 10 minutes just to scrub with soap. then, i watered the veggie garden and….may or may not have stepped on 4 of the new onion plants and severely damaged them….

today: woke up at 645 to start my new hard labor routine. i have to dig 40 cm across by 40 cm deep holes for planting roses. this includes batteling rocks of many sizes and using this huge iron pole to break up the ground. i think i got like 4 done and melanie came and did 1.  by then it was around 11. during this time, apartantly the military decided to parachute into our fields and so we went to investigate and heres how our convo went

them; where are you from

melanie; switzerland

them; were from the sky!

and then we left to take a water break which ended up lasting until 3 or 4. so, tonight, melanie sarah and i decided to share our (at least for melanie and i) jewish culture and we made haroset, kugal and latkes for dinner. they were a little frightened of the haroset (“dolce for dinner??”) but they really liked everything, which is good.

okay, it is now 1237 in the am and i need to be up bright and early to move more logs (which i enjoy more than you would realize)!! also, no gap year, but i would like to take a year off and come back next year or even better, just wwoof around the US whenever i get a chance, bc all i need to do really is take a bus somewhere and its like the cheapest thing to do, also a cool way to travel-backpack the US. anyone up for that? if not, its all cool.

also, quick delicious recipe:

take fresh zucchini flowers and leaving them whole, dip them in a mix of flour and water and then fry them and roll them in sugar. MMMMM. also good with salt for an appetizer insteade of a dolce.

p.s. i booked a hostel in florence and i cancelled my one in rome bc im going to stay with adrianos family there (which i am forever grateful for!!!)

much love,

abby

àèìòù

so. updates.

ive went to 2 farmers markets this weekend, both being wonderful!!

one in collevaldelsa and the other in greve in chianti. the first being wonderful. they had a meat stand and she just had a whole pig leg that she would slice off pieces from for prosciutto! the second one in chianti was much bigger and had lots of art stands. around 1 it was a siesta and all the farmers left and we had a big communal lunch for about an hour and everyone contributed food and wine.

the last couple of days have been kind of a flop though, as we now have 2 wwoofers, so 3 total, and theres really not enough work for everyone. im emailing other farms to see if i can go to them, and one of the new wwoofers here might go with. shes going to a tofu farm next and they need help desperately. i dk, im just feeling really restless and unuseful here. today, i spent my day doing 3 hours of cleaning the house and then an hour pitting fruit for marmalade.

i emailed my dean of admissions about taking an impromptu gap year and just staying here and wwoofing further, but im going back and forth about wanting to do it. i dont think i can go back home soon because its just so…flat there. i feel like i need to stay here longer and be by myself longer instead of going back and being in one place for another year taking intro classes and writing papers and just…bah.

on the plus side, i think i met my roommate, or so she thinks were roomies because we have the same phone number. she looks really nice and is from maine and is a quaker.

so, lets talk about milking sheep and my feelings about that.

so, we have around 350 sheep and they are milked morning and night. the place they are milked in can milk 47 sheep at a time, so we have around 5 rounds of sheep. each sheep is locked into a feeding thing where they eat their dinner-breakfast and once they are locked in, it moves them backward toward the milking device. this consists of moving suction cup things which we attach to their utters and a little metal thing which goes under the utter to hold it up. its very efficient and it helps the sheep, but i cant help feel like im raping them somehow. its like…open your legs and if you dont, i will pry them open and attach a suction cup and take your milk anyways.

oh well, its actually not as awful as it sounds, but it makes me a little uncomfortable. also, sheep are honestly the stupidest animals ever. its can be amusing sometimes, but when they keep going the wrong way or try to fit 2 into a 1 sheep feeding spot, you literally need to grab their leg or tail and drag them out or else they wont move or will start crawling under the other sheep. also, if one of them escapes from the pastures where they live 23 hours a day, all of them will follow and then you just have a bunch of sheep wandering around your farm.

ive taken up eating a spoon of nutella and having an occasional cigarette (no, not being a chain smoker, maybe like 1.5 a day) when im stressed or bored, which now is often. it helps to have another wwoofer to talk to though.

im going to florence with melanie, the wwoofer, on sunday and were staying over till monday and then im going to meet maria and emma. after that im either coming back here or hopefully going to a new farm until the 15th. also

i need to

-cancel my monastary reservations in rome

-make reservations in florence

okay, much love,

abby

p.s. its hella hot here and i have this really weird tan where my feet are like stark white, below the knee is tan, above the knee is white and my hands are white from wearing gloves in the garden. ive also given up shaving and am becoming a true european…hair-wise that is.

too much info? too bad!

love once again,

abby

spent my day with a bunch of naked, dirty, italian hippies

so, yes, i spent my day with a bunch of naked, dirty, italian hippies planting trees and herbs. they were a mismash of different farmers and 2 girls from belgium. 1 farmer had a spice farm, another had a honey farm, and im not quite sure about the others. it was really nice meeting everyone and i got compliments on my italian. after work, they all stripped down to their underware and went swimming. of course europeans wear sexy underware while working on a farm.

okay, so my main points of the day

-i made dinner, consisting of octopus, mussels, rice, bok choy, and salmone teriyaki.

-an american family came and wants to wwoof

-i need to go to a restaurant on recommendation

-i talked with maura

-i talked to adri and carol yesterday

-i went to poggibonsi yestreday with Tamara to the supermarket and tried an esthatea

-i need to write to chuck and josh from SYSK

-i had a nice 30 min chat with mauritzio about italy. so, men are born for field work and women are born for the kitchen. work comes first, so mostly everyone doesnt go to liceo and university, solamente media scuola.

more later! ciao!

martedi 22-6-2010

yesterday was my day off and i just hung out by the pool and read and slept and ate. its hard to believe ive only been here a week! it feels like so long. i dont know how long im going to cope with this farm routine situation. i need new books! badly! im pretty sure we had leftovers for lunch-dinner but i dont remember. a lot of pasta and lamb.

so today, i woke up at 7:45, ate and did dishes and then worked in the garden with pino for 5 hours. our job was to clear the weed infested patch of land in front of the garden which = awful sunburn everywhere and lots of bloody battlle scars from thorny weeds. but i did see this HUGE bee, like, right now, take your left hand, look at the index finger, and now take the 1st and second digit, nail and above the knuckle, thats how big. .

after that was clear, we set out to destroy a thorny bush that was choking an apple tree.

for lunch,

pasta pomodoro

agnello

mucca

zucchini con proscutto (which was not very good)

seada (fried ravioli) with honey

so, after lunch, i went with Mauritzio to get the sheep from the pastures and apparantly, a wolf ate one recently. its really amazing to walk behind a herd of sheep. its like a white cloud with heads and bells. they get scared really easily too. its almost like theyre SHEEP. i watched them get milked, which i will explain later, and i held up a little lamb (whom i christened Luigi) to an udder to feed and it was really nice. i also helped collect eggs. theres one chicken with all its feathers plucked out and its looks HORRIFIC. apparantly, it was from the goose that also lives in the chicken pen.

so, for dinner

handmade linguine con pork and olive oil and rosemary (too delicious)

new lamb

okay, im exhausted and i need to get up early to shower!

ciao!

sorry, they locked me in the basement for a week.

just kidding.

but there was a HUGE storm so we didnt have internet or the phone for a llooooong loooong week.

so, let me update you in this giant post

20-6-2010

so today, i think i left the kitchen a total of 2 times. we had 15 bikers over for lunch and 28 pple for dinner! all canadian, but rich canadians who didnt really want to talk to me. i was a little mad bc they were acting like giovanna was some type of animal and just staring and taking pictures. she works so hard and i feel like nobody really appreciates it.

okay, so their daughter Tamara is 29 and liveds at home with her bf Mauritzio. she talks rediculously fast and treats me like im extremely stupid for not speaking italian perfecftly. i dislike her most of the time. the tuscan dialect is also extremely difficult. all the cs become hs. she gets mad really easily all the time and chain smokes and when she throws a fit, she storms outside for a scigaret. im kind of scared shes going to start throwing things. she gets off bossing me around, but she gets very servile and submissive around people who speak english. boh!

my italian is getting slightly better. i can now talk with natalie, their other 16 yr old daughter, for extended periods of time.

for dinner, we had 2 types of ravioli made from scratch

1 with

formaggio, parsley, potatoe, salt

1 with ricotta, lime and orange peels,raisins, vanilla, sugar (this was deep fried for dessert)

and a WHOLE lamb. baked in the oven with only olive oil and salt. i probably ate like half of it.

okay. buona sera!

send me books to read!

okay

let me explain something

i would definetly give up MY LIFE to have access to this food FOREVER.

so, per cena ieri, ho mangiato una stew di pomodori, formaggi e uove. anche, fresh prosciutto e salami e pane e fresh melone con miele.

e oggi, per cena, ho mangiato pasta con meat sauce e zucchino con suoi fiori sauteed in olio con pane e ricotta e per dolce, un buon pudding-creme brulee type thing which was too damn good.

but its really lonely here. no one speaks english, save a family from palatine il who came by today and i acted as translator, which was horrendously difficult bc one of the daughters speaks way too fast.

also, i will walk you through my first day

7 am: wake up and go back to sleep

8:30 am: wake up and realize that i was supposed to be up 30 min ago

8:45: walk to cheese making thing and promptly get sheep poop all over the floor via my shoes

9:00: fully outfitted with new shoes, an apron, and a hat.

9-12: clean cheese container after cheese container. if im not the best damn cheese container cleaner by the time i get out of here, ill be pissed

12-1: help make ricotta, which im not very good at. veloce and then piano, not piano e veloce

1-3: help with lunch, read, eat

3-7: say im going for a walk, but actually fall asleep by the pool while reading. crap.

7-11: help make dinner, read, eat dinner, do dishes, do more dishes, do even more dishes, read, watch tv, and show pics of my family to giovanna e natalie.

11-now (mezzanote): be on computer.

okay, i need to go bc im exhausted. also, i have an awful cough bc EVERYONE here smokes and EVERYONE smokes INSIDE THE HOUSE.

gah! also, its really effin cold at night, so if someone wants to send me a blanket, thatd be much appreciated.

i dont have a way to upload my pics, so ill steal them from their computer.

voila!

love,

abby